Easter Weekend Part Two: The (Former) Mother In Law

Im already exhausted and I haven’t even started writing this blog post yet.

The first thing that you need to know is that my (former) mother in law, we’ll call her Sharon, is 1. An introvert and 2. The reigning passive-aggressive-knock-out- champion-of-the-universe.

Okay, that’s technically two things but they go together. These are the key points that you have to remember any time I tell a story about her. Just remember. We are referring to her as “Sharon” and she’s difficult.  Just thinking about everything I have dealt with, with this woman, I often wonder why I even bother.

I respect her as Dominic’s grandmother. Since her son decided to make other choices, she has really stepped up to help me raise Dominic. However, this has come with a price. I have to submit to the jabs and harassment from the ex husband. It’s him that she’s really mad at, but I often get the backlash. She will say and do things to him that he will turn around and take out on me.

All of that drama is an entire separate blog post.  With that said, there have been times when she hasn’t been so pleasant to me for whatever reason either. Up until this year, I’ve tried to include her in things and treat her as if she was some kind of matriarch. She sort of is I suppose.  It has bitten me in the ass more than once.

She pulls stunts. I won’t go into all of it now but don’t worry my dear readers, something will come up. Probably soon because she’s been fairly well behaved recently. Just one example is the time she kept the invitation for Grandparents Day at Dom’s school for herself and never told  me about it nor did she send the information home. Since I didn’t know about it, my mother missed out on Grandparents Day at school.

We’ve had some rocky times in the past year because I’ve grown tired of her. I’ve ran my mouth a few times and I didn’t used to or probably shouldn’t have. It just gets old and I’m only human. I shouldn’t have to listen to it but she is Dom’s grandmother and she does help me out a lot.

I decided to try to be more thoughtful or at least mindful of holidays and her birthday. So on Valentine’s Day, I made a batch of cupcakes and cake pops that I decorated. They were really cute. I also got a basket of wild flowers that was really beautiful. I put it all together and helped Dom make a card to give to her. The. We went and gave it to her.

She seemed really surprised and appreciative of the gesture.

Fast forward.

Things haven’t been so great. For some reason she stopped talking to me. When ask she says nothing is wrong and everything is just fine. Ugh. She’s the passive-aggressive-knock out-champ, if you recall. Fine. Be that way.

So, when I decided to put together an Easter basket for Dom to give to her, I should have known I was setting myself up to have her suck the winds right out of my sails and boy she sure didn’t disappoint.  I called her on Saturday night to make sure she would be home. I told her Dom had a gift for her.

We go to deliver the Easter basket and she was less than enthused and was just like “thanks”. We were at her house for less than five minutes. While I certainly didn’t expect her to break out into dance and do cartwheels, she could’ve at least expressed some gratitude.  Dom seems to be picking up on these things too. He was like “Bye grandma,”

I have my moments when I allow myself to get upset over “my circumstances”. I certainly didn’t sign up for things to be this way but I’m doing the best that I can. I’m not going to apologize for going to work every day and making a living. My hours aren’t the best but it is what it is right now.  She was a single mother too, you would think that she would cut me some slack.

I’m sure I’m not alone in dealing with people who behave like this. She’s technically not my family but she’s Dom’s family. Up until now, she was the only reason I was staying in the area. I try to keep an eye on her.  She literally has nothing and she seems to alienate everyone on my ex husbands side of the family also.

Sigh.

Below is a photo of her basket before it was finished. That little planter is adorable and I almost bought one for myself. I’m not going to lie,  I considered saying “to hell with her” about forty times and thought about keeping it all for myself.

image

 

I totally should’ve just kept it for myself.

 

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7 thoughts on “Easter Weekend Part Two: The (Former) Mother In Law

  1. kellyanneolga says:

    yup, you should have kept it for yourself! Replaced it with a nice phone call or something….I guess it boils down to how she treats Dom. (that’s the why in keeping in touch with her right?) Families….sigh. But cheers to you for making the effort!! Hey I bet the baskets and plants are on sale now…go get one! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • jennlives says:

      I try. It’s an ongoing battle. I think it’s almost better if I avoid all unnecessary contact with her. She watches him while I am at work, which is a huge help and pretty much the only reason why I am tolerating her.

      Since she doesn’t really have anyone else watching out for her, that’s what I try to do. I haven’t moved away because if I did, then she wouldn’t see Dom and I wouldn’t want to put her through that either. I’ve told her that, doesn’t seem to sink in. I’ve had opportunities to move elsewhere and haven’t. I just don’t shake it in her face. Maybe I should start?

      She has it sitting on a table in her living room, I can tell that she really likes it. So, maybe I got through to her just a little bit. She even said hi to me the other day when I was picking him up. Ha ha.

      Like

      • kellyanneolga says:

        Was it a congenial “hi”? lol! I always find it terrific when people have extended family around who help out, as we have no one here. To have a grandparent be a part of your child’s every day life is something we just never had . It certainly works both ways too. I’m sure you guys mean a lot more to her than she lets on!
        So hey….did you bury the dog yet?

        Liked by 1 person

    • jennlives says:

      It appears to have helped with things. She’s being more pleasant. It’s hot and cold. Something will happen, she’ll have an argument with the ex and it will trigger her mood. She’s weird.

      No, we haven’t buried Hilli yet, but we will be soon. It is literally raining deer ticks out in that park. My friends and I are literally creeped out about it too. I have some penetherim spray on order. We are going to douse ourselves in that and spray and get out there to get that done soon.

      Between carting around a frozen pet and the thought of being covered in deer ticks, I seriously don’t know which one horrifies me the most at this point.

      Liked by 1 person

      • kellyanneolga says:

        deer ticks would be more horrifying to me! i am SO glad that we do not really have ticks out here and while deer ticks are found out here (mts east of Seattle) , in increasing numbers sadly, they have been a fairly isolated problem. BUT I’m from MA and my husb and I went to college in RI. While we were there a prof was doing studies on deer ticks and any time we got some on us, which was often, we would jar them and bring them to him. None of the ones we picked off us ever had lyme. We knew several people there who had lyme disease , some in advanced stages . My friend’s uncle died of Lyme Disease.in the 80s; he was from Lyme CT! So yuck yuck yuck. I’d take frozen Hilli any day over them! but the combo is fairly horrifying actually! 🙂 Good luck!!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. rontuaru says:

    Yup. But kids don’t know shit from shinola about passive-aggressive behavior. So keep a smile on your face and just treat her with kindness dignity … because that’s what your son will learn. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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